Self judgment and comparison are about the worst things out there. There always seems to be some trait, physical or personality, that someone else has that we want and the wanting brings about much heartache. We look in the mirror and we compare that person staring back at us to the other people we typically see while we’re out in the world and we determine everything that’s wrong with us. Such a waste of time and energy when we consider this fact: it is highly likely someone is looking at us and wishing they had something we have.
I’ve been about 100 pounds overweight for a couple decades now. I’ve never really lost more than about 20 pounds over the years and I’ve only done that a couple times. I can’t really even tell you what motivated me to lose weight other than feeling like I was never as pretty as “them”. And for me, that isn’t sustainable motivation. This past July, on my 50th birthday, the realization that I likely have fewer years ahead of me than behind was a solid motivation to get this body of mine in better shape so that it lasts as long as possible. But here’s the thing, I can lose every unnecessary pound and I still won’t have a thigh gap! LOL When I was in my 20s, that mattered to me and now that I’m in my 50s, I could care less. Some of us will always have thighs that snuggle up and some of us never will and you know what? Neither is better or worse, they just simply are. I’m learning in this process of watching what I eat and moving more that motivation matters.
So since I’ve started a little list in my head, here are a few other things I don’t need:
A mistake-free life.
Judgmental attitudes from me or around me.
Other people’s approval.
More “have-to’s” than “want-to’s”.
I imagine I could go on and on and, I bet you could too. What’s great is that your list will be totally different from mine and, those differences don’t negate each other! If you like things perfect and that’s important to you, than strive baby, strive. You see the biggest thing none of us need in lives is to feel less than just because we are different. Different is nothing more than that, different.
Honor the differences you see in each other. Own what you need and what you don’t need and never forget those lists are specific to you. You have the right to build how you want your life to flow and to work to make that happen and by golly, if you need a thigh gap to feel good than you do the exercise to get there because it’s valuable to you. Just don’t expect to see me at the gym with you. 🙂
Honor each other and in the honoring, you build inclusive communities where people feel safe to be themselves and share their challenges.